Awesome is not synonymous with married.

**This is definitely geared toward those people living in/knowing about the LDS culture**

**This is for people who are not married, but isn't meant to belittle married people IN ANY WAY**

There is a word that can instill an entire spectrum of emotions in people. For some, excitement and anticipation. For others, dread and apprehension. Some might be sick of the word, others may never tire of it. Some people post about theirs on social media all the time and we would like to punch them in the face  kindly tell them to relax with the mushy posts. If you haven't guessed it yet, I'll spell it out for you:

m-a-r-r-i-a-g-e

Yup, that word. As saints of the latter day, we hear about it a lot. It's kinda the main point of life. Okay, not really the main point...but since we believe it is central to our salvation, it's a big deal. This is something that's been on my mind a little for a while. But first, I just need to introduce the context a little bit. 

I am in a fantastic singles ward right now. The best way I can think to describe us would be this: we are a group of people who are weirdly passionate about a myriad of things, and we all get along fantastically. Seriously, we're great. Anyway, I was talking the other night to someone and I was saying how much I loved our ward and I said:

"I don't even know why our ward is a singles ward because everyone is seriously soooo amazing. We have such great people in this ward, how are we all single????"

And then I thought, that's silly. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I hear things along those lines all the time and don't even think twice about it. Hear what things? Well, things like:

"How is _______ not married? I mean, seriously, she's amazing!!"

or

"He is honestly the sweetest guy, how is he still single?"

You've probably said/heard these things too. So all I have to say is this:

AWESOME* ISN'T SYNONYMOUS WITH MARRIED.

*Insert any other complementary descriptive word here

Now, I don't consider myself extreme in really any of my views, so I'm not saying that phrases like these are tearing us apart from the inside out, and the only way to be saved is to eradicate these phrases and we're all going to die in a zombie apocalypse if we don't. But I think sometimes little thoughts like this sneak into my head and I think

What does that married girl have that I don't?

(Well she's got a husband, for one thing.)

Almost like there is an "awesomeness game" in which our wonderful married peers have some secret cheat code figured out that bumps them up a level. Or like there is a certain amount of awesomeness needed, and once you reach that level of achievement, you'll quickly find another who has reached their awesomeness requirement and then you get married. Or how about this one:

Don't look for the right one, be the right one.

Uh, great. Don't get me wrong, it is wonderful to always be looking for ways to improve ourselves, but if the search is because we think there is a magical quality which--once attained--will bring marriage with it, we'll be left feeling inadequate and incapable. It's dangerous to start tying marriage to ANY of our qualities, whether physical, mental, or spiritual. 

If I was prettier

If I was smarter

If I was more fit

If I was more kind

If I was more funny

If I was more spiritual

If I was more

If I was more

If I was more

If I was more

It's a dangerous cycle to say that if we were more of anything, then we'd be worth loving enough for somebody to marry us. But here is the good news:

  

We are worth loving right now, and we are loved right now.  

We are loved enough for our brother, our Savior Jesus Christ, to suffer in a garden for not just our sins, but our heartaches, our struggles, our pains, and our sufferings. 

Yeah, we have a brother who loves us enough to die for us. 

And you didn't have to earn that love, you are worth that love. 

So here's the thing, a person can read their scriptures every darn day, attend the temple weekly, go to all their church meetings, magnify their calling in their ward, serve others, continually work to improve themselves, and still not be married.

But they're so awesome, how are they not married?

You're darn right, they are. They are awesome. And God knows they're awesome. And they should know that they're awesome. And they should keep being awesome. Because being awesome, humble, sweet, caring, selfless, dedicated, faithful, honest, helpful, and positive are no more synonymous with marriage than ocean (yes, that was totally random) is synonymous with marriage. While many married people possess these qualities, they are neither a requirement nor a standard for being loved and/or married.

So by all means:

be awesome.

Because, while being awesome certainly is not a requirement for marriage, you'll have a whole lot more fun on your way there if you are.