I'm a firm believer that positive thinking can change a persons whole perspective on life (even if I don't always apply it myself.) In fact, I have a quote hanging on my wall at this very second that reads: "I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness."
But I've seen a few different things around lately that struck me and after a little while of thinking about them, I just can't let it go without having my say...even if no one else cares...So here's the deal, I've been seeing a bunch of quotes about happiness lately and there are some that really are good and have real positive meaning. Maybe I'm being a nitpick here, but there are also some that I think give a false idea of what happiness is.
"Exist to be happy."
"Nothing is worth it if you aren't happy."
"Happiness is saying no to things that stress you out."
"If you're not happy, you're doing something wrong."
To illustrate my point, I'm going to talk about volleyball a little bit. I play volleyball for Utah State University. I've got two years left and up to this point in my life it is the hardest, most mentally and physically challenging thing I've ever done. Despite it being incredibly difficult, I have continued for several reasons that I don't need to expand on. As an overall experience, it truly has been invaluable but I have to admit, in the day-to-day grind of things, the positives can be hard to see.
A few months ago when we were nearing the end of our season, I had a bad day at practice and left with a million things running through my head most of which had to do with quitting. I was angry because I had felt that I was really supposed to be at USU playing volleyball and suddenly (not for the first time) I was questioning that feeling. I was convinced that everything I'd worked for and all the good that could come from continuing couldn't possibly be worth it because I wasn't happy doing it anymore.
Of course, I didn't quit and all my misery and sadness were gone the next day. Now, it could very well be that I'm just a drama queen who needs to learn to tone down my emotions, but I don't think so. I think that everyone has times when they are frustrated or stressed out or upset and so often we are led to believe by well-meaning words that this means we are doing something wrong. This quote by Gordon B. Hinckley sums it up nicely:
This quote is one of my favorites because while I am generally happy with my life and where it's going, there are definitely times when I do not feel this way. In those times, I start thinking something is wrong with my life or I'm not where I'm supposed to be or I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I promise that when these thoughts do come, it's usually against my will. Although there have been times when it seems I'm content pouting about life, as a general rule I don't purposely set out to make myself unhappy. It's a frustrating cycle to have feelings of unhappiness and then to tell yourself that you shouldn't feel unhappy.
I have now formed the personal opinion that always being happy is impossible. I might even go so far as to argue that if you are always blissfully happy, you are most likely blissfully unaware. In 2 Nephi 2:25 we read that "Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy."
That alone sounds almost like the quotes I posted above, making you feel that if you aren't feeling joy or happiness that something is wrong with you. After all it says that the point of our being is to feel joy. However, just two verses before this famous scripture, we read that had Adam and Eve not partaken of the fruit, they "would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin."
In Ecclesiastes 3 we also read, 1: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:" 4: "A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."
Now, to me it seems that we are not being told to be happy all the time. What I love about Gordon B. Hinckley's quote is the last line: "The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride." It says nothing of being happy for the whole ride, in fact, it disputes it. It tell us to be grateful for the ride.
I would just hate for anyone to believe that when they are unhappy, they are inadequate or worse, alone, in their feelings. The way to counter periods of unhappiness is to focus on serving others and working to be grateful for what you have. Focusing on the positive may not immediately result in happiness, but focusing on gloomy thoughts will always make you feel worse. It's not easy, but the struggles we go through make the successes that much sweeter.
We can choose to make situations better by having a positive mindset. We can choose to be grateful even in the midst of our struggles. We can choose to spread positivity and kindness. These things combined will lead to an overall happy life, even though we will still need to weather storms and periods of life when we do not necessarily feel filled with joy. And because you can't have too many quotes:
"Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow."
